Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”
It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.
And I got angry.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be keptinterested, because he knows you are interesting:
I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.
I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:
Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.
Your eternally interested guy,
Happy International Women’s Day.
At this age, we’re often haunted by the idea that we will never amount to anything. We worry about college and what we’ll do after, what we want to do with our lives and if we’ll be successful. We lay down on our beds, staring up at a blank ceiling, wishing we could so something important, wishing that your life was a lot better and then you’ll get upset and disappointed in yourself because with what you’re doing with your life at the moment, those haunting thoughts might come true. But what are you doing to actually make sure that you’ll end up having successful and happy lives in the future?
Instead of mourning all those days you’ve wasted being unproductive and not doing anything good for you or your future, get up and do something about it.
Open up your textbook and make an attempt at getting an A on your next report card. Don’t put things off for later because you’re too lazy — if you do, it might become a bad habit you won’t be able to get rid of and it might affect you later on in the future when you go to college or when you get a job. Lessen the time you spend on social networking sites and the time you spend doing unproductive things, but at the same time, make sure you do to turn into a workaholic; good grades and productive days are great — but if you don’t make time for yourself, you’ll regret it. Surround yourself with people who talk about ideas, who inspire you and who are good for you. Be yourself, you won’t get anywhere in life without originality and by pretending to be someone you’re not.
Help yourself as early as now. You’ll be thanking yourself in he future.
if you follow the paintbrush with your eyes while not moving your head, it forces you to use emdr which is a therapeutic technique to calm anxiety/panic. watching fish swim causes the same effect.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING SINCE FOREVER FOR THIS TO BE ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN